The ABCs of New Habits

Forget 21 days. That's the myth about habit formation that keeps us stuck in the cycle of starting and stopping.

Witness the January gym stampede: packed with resolute souls in January, only to dwindle back to its usual quiet by February. Have you committed to doing something new but don’t know if you will be able to keep it up?

Ever wonder why brushing your teeth seems automatic while mastering a new language feels like climbing Mount Everest? The answer lies in the psychology of habit formation... Studies have shown that, depending on the complexity of a habit, very simple habits may take just a day to form, while more difficult ones require bigger commitment and lots of repetition. 

To ensure our new actions become habits, we should first step back and examine how we design our new actions. When our actions have The ABCs, we have a higher chance of transforming them into habits. 

Attractive

It’s in our human nature to be driven by incentives. Do you remember what it took you to eat veggies when you were a child? For me, there was some kind of reward after I ate my vegetables. I worked for my reward. After many repetitions, vegetables didn’t taste so bad anymore. They just became part of the meal. 

Reflect on:

What is the big incentive, or your ultimate drive, for you to form this new habit? Does it align with who you are and what you want from life?

And what is the small reward you institute, every time you act your new behavior, or make progress in your new journey? 

Is your small reward enticing enough to keep you going?

Built-in Accountability

Life happens, and competing priorities demand our attention. Can we persevere to stay on track, or do we abandon our mission?

What do you use to keep you accountable when times are tough?

Who offers encouragement and does not let you give up when you have self-doubts or feel like hitting against a wall? 

When we have someone who simultaneously supports us and challenges us, we draw energy from the team spirit to achieve our goal.

Compassion for Self

Sometimes we do need to give our time and energy to more pressing things in life. Even when we make good progress in our new habits, we can also make mistakes. Be kind to yourself when you are tackling a big change, from speaking a new language, driving on the other side of the road, to giving your team more freedom to make decisions. 

Ask yourself:

Why is this pause important? How will it benefit my relationships, well-being, or [you fill in the blank]?

What have I done persistently that I wasn’t doing a month ago, 6 months ago, or a year ago?

What can I be proud of, having come this far?

What reward can I give to myself, for the progress I have made?

. . .

Ditch the 21-day myth and grab your ABCs (that's Attractive, Built-in Accountability, and Compassion for Self, by the way)! Building habits is a journey, not a destination. So lace up your shoes, grab your inner cheerleader, and let's conquer this one step at a time!