When to Take Unsolicited Feedback Seriously
When should you take feedback seriously, especially unsolicited feedback?
There is no simple answer to this question, because human interactions are intricate and how we should treat that feedback depends on the situation. A few factors to consider:
When is unsolicited feedback important?
We might not always know how and when to ask for feedback because we don’t know what we don’t know. Blind spots can only be uncovered through feedback, often unsolicited.
Whether it’s search engine or generative AI, if we don’t ask the right questions or provide the appropriate prompts, we get irrelevant answers. Thus when we didn’t initiate the feedback seeking, the unsolicited feedback can be surprising and uncomfortable..
Who gives the feedback?
Some say if the feedback comes from untrained sources, we should ignore it.
Not so fast.
When people are directly or indirectly affected, even if they are untrained, listen to what they have to say because they may not have expertise in your area, they may offer valuable insights based on their own experiences or their close relationships with the person affected. For example, if a patient tells a doctor that his current symptoms feel different from his previous symptoms when the doctor wants to prescribe the usual medication, the doctor may need to double check her assumptions. The same goes for feedback from customers or parents.
What’s the intention behind the feedback?
Are these people trying to lift us up or put us down through their unsolicited feedback?
If you ask them that question, people will tell you they want the best for you even if their intention is the opposite.
Instead, ask them what changes they want to see, and what results they are envisioning. From there, you can discern if their feedback is for your improvement, or to boost their own ego. Then you can decide to incorporate the feedback or ignore it.
Remember that good intentions don’t always translate into good delivery of feedback. Thus clarifying questions can turn a well-intended but poorly delivered message into being truly helpful.
How can unsolicited feedback be beneficial?
Challenges you to achieve technical excellence - those who realize that learning is a lifelong journey, know that there is always room for growth. They embrace new techniques or better ways to do something when shown.
Corrects costly mistakes - the stake can be extremely high when mistakes are related to someone’s health. If medical students are not given feedback on their mistakes and they don’t learn to correct them, their unchallenged mistakes and assumptions can cost lives in the future.
Confirms achievement of goal - this is especially true when we communicate. We may have gone through a long preparation process and put all of our thoughts on paper or through a speech. And in our minds, everything is crystal clear. However, on the receiving side, they may misunderstand, misinterpret, or miss your key points. The recipients’ feedback is invaluable for you to know if your message came across as you intended.
Takes you out of your comfort zone - even the most ambitious, people follow their beliefs to make decisions and take action. When what worked well in the past no longer works in the present, they feel stuck. Feedback can provide a new perspective. In coaching, I often challenge my clients’ self-limiting beliefs so they can make a mindset shift to take steps they felt uncomfortable before.
How do you respond to unsolicited feedback?
Reflect on the feedback and determine if it can propel you to grow or hinder your progress. If the feedback is beneficial, you may choose to seek specific suggestions from the giver. Finally, share your progress with them, demonstrating your commitment to growth.
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To explore how you can personally practice career management principles like this, schedule a complementary call to evaluate if coaching can accelerate your results.
